Just so we all understand what is going on inside the Town Hall, we were amused to see the job specification for a mid level manager (salary 30k) in a new role that does not in our view exactly help the good citizens of this fine City, but adds yet another layer of needless jobsworth activity to the PCC 'back office.'
The job specification clearly written by a computer system somewhere a million miles away from the City of Peterborough and its unique and diverse population.
We've reproduced it below together with a few helpful suggestions to aid any intending candidate. Here goes:
Sit down with impressionable new recruits and hand over a contract of employment, nail a suggestion box to the office wall and to fathom out councils vision objectives and strategy. Arrange a twitter feed from Conservative Central office and the Local Government Association
Take a pack of 52 playing cards and throw the lot up in the air. See if you can catch an Ace. Failing that listen to any number of BBC local radio interviews given either by Sheila Scott and Cllr. Wayne Fitzgerald
Do not tell anyone what a right old Horlicks the whole move to so called Fletton Quays is turning out to be and don't let on how much it is all really costing.
Keep staff noticeboard up to date
Group away days, in top hotels .. and lots of courses on diverse but worthy subjects
Try and stop blunders and misspeaks before the local paper gets them
Ensure a supply of Gold Stars for wall chart and enough parchment type paper for employee of the month certificates ( employee to buy own frame)
Unlikely to be 'excellent' as CIT system won't allow it, but will allow time for longer lunches as it will take a good 30 minutes to walk from the new office block at the far back end of Fletton Quays to anywhere that resembles a cafe or restaurant. Not enough car park spaces so better learn to ride a push-bike.
A kinda moan of the week, pat on the back, endless minutes taken that no one will have time to read.
Work out who is going to pay an enhanced commercial rent for the surplus office space the council has committed to.
Try and work out what has clearly been written in tongues by short tern mega expensive interim consultants who have long cashed in the cheques and moved on.
Control, Alt, Delete. Unplug, Restart and put some pictures in it!
Define Customer? Stakeholder is easy see any hammer horror film for ideas, as for colleagues you'll hardly see them as they will be constantly fighting over the available 'hot desks' a kinda corporate 'musical chairs'...
Best of luck say we sent you!
https://parkfarmneighbourhoodwatch.blogspot.com E&OE Julian Bray Editor Tel:+44 (0)1733 345581 .