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Saturday, December 15, 2012

Roast the Christmas Turkey - NO KITCHEN INVOLVED

A Christmas Day Treat, Indirect heat roasting of your Turkey via barbeque !

Julian Bray writes: All the Telly nonsense about stress free cooking on Christmas Day is actually winding up people who try and emulate the " Here's one I prepared earlier" brigade. 

So following many requests, this is the P'boroTRIB contribution to a stress free Christmas, and where the male population can actually superbly roast and self baste the whole bird or turkey crown, well away from the kitchen, and get to the Pub on time, coming back to a well roasted bird that'll be nice and moist!  Your partner will be pleased as well! 

At 7am Christmas Morning prepare the barbeque, as you would for a barbeque using the indirect heat method,  it must be a dome or lid type such as a Webber. The aim is two well banked lines of charcoal, liberal barbeque lighting fuel or firelighters,  either side of a central foil oblong (rectangular) tray  the objective is to have two lines of hot (white ash) charcoal either side of the bird under the rack and the foil tray centrally under the rack neatly collects all the juices and fat from the bird. You start of as if lighting a conventional barbeque than part the ash coated charcoal to place a foil tray between the two lines (see picture). Vent fully open.

At 8am Christmas Morning when the charcoal is hot and appears to be ash gray, place the bird UPSIDE DOWN on the rack. Baste the upturned bottom of the bird! Close the lid leaving the lid air vent open, check every hour and top up charcoal with fresh charcoal. (Turning the bird upside down isn't compulsory, but we like it). The barbeque with the indirect method will in any case; act as a convection oven

With this method, do not fill the cavity of the bird but you can put some stuffing in the neck end.

At 10am  Christmas Morning Turn the bird right way up.......add rashers of bacon to the top of the bird. Ensure its positioned over the foil tray ...close the lid...  walk away...  enjoy the morning

That is it!    Roasting guide line time is 11 - 13 minutes per pound (450grams)  OFF TO THE PUB!  Return by 2:30pm.

Check your bird is roasted right through with several prods of a thermometer, (180F/82C

Most of the juices will have filtered through to the top of the bird and then when you turn it back up the right way the juices will slowly reverse direction, leaving the turkey well and truly moist and basted.

Your neighbours will have a fit when they see you (usually in tatty dressing gown hint!) and inappropriate slippers lighting up the Webber barbeque first thing on Christmas Morning. But it leaves the kitchen oven totally free for all the other bits and pieces... Merry Christmas...

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THE HIGH COURT has ruled....People have a right to lampoon and criticise politicians and public officials under the Human Rights Act, the High Court has ruled.

We have the full High Court judgment, saved as a page on here. l

ampoon (lampoon) Pronunciation: /lamˈpuːn/ verb [with object] publicly criticize (someone or something) by using ridicule, irony, or sarcasm: the actor was lampooned by the press noun a speech or text lampooning someone or something: the magazine fired at God, Royalty, and politicians, using cartoons and lampoons.

Derivatives: lampooner noun lampoonery noun lampoonist noun Origin: mid 17th century: from French lampon, said to be from lampons 'let us drink' (used as a refrain), from lamper 'gulp down', nasalized form of laper 'to lap (liquid).


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